Epiphany

I will probably sound dumb but I write when I run out of words.

Do I find people and/or things cromulent? Or are they actually one? I see no harm coming, until it hits me real hard. And like always, it’s too late to react. So oblivious, I’m as good as dead.

I don’t know if that made any sense.

Hard times remind you that you are alive. How good would it be if you could filter the things that happens to you? Yeah, be a master of your own fate? Or maybe filter out the things you see. See only those you want to see and avoid those you don’t want to. Avoid all the troubles and see the good fortunes. No turmoil but the celebrations, not hatred but love. Or maybe hear the one you want to listen to.  Alas, it’s always dark on the other side. God lets devil do things. But maybe, we see things we want to see. There probably is no light, we see things that please our soul. Or maybe light has always been there, and we perceive darkness when sights are unpleasant. Or maybe they both exist. Or maybe, one completes the other.

Maybe, nothing ever happened. Maybe, I never wrote this. It’s just your eyes that are reading what they wanted to read since ages. Maybe, it was a book and you just filtered out what you wanted to read.

I enjoy being a fool, when people want me to be one.

Monologue

You know it’s not your usual day when you’re low all day and mess up things even before bed. You know something’s wrong with you when you can’t held your head high. Not because you’re guilty, but because nobody finds you innocent. This could just be a hunch, but I’ve never been more rational. You know how it feels when you’ve been dreaming every day and all you see is your dreams being incinerated. You know it’s difficult to digest when people are multifaceted. You know how it feels when you can’t believe it, but you got to live with it. You know how it feels to be outside the locked door with the wrong key hanging. You know how it feels to be one among the bunch of morons. You know it, and it’s always good to know. Be it for nothing, or worse of things; something’s above nothing. So, I’m a proud hick, proud filthy imbecile.

I can’t stop disappointing people, maybe the only thing I’m good at. It has somehow become a part of ‘to do list’ unintentionally.  I dream and wish to do good things, and start doing good, but I don’t reach there. Such is my fate. I wonder how could this happen every now and then. I’ve got stupidest of tongue, hands and mind; I don’t think my heart is one. Because I know I never intend bad. Tongue is my greatest enemy, a necessary evil. I speak up everything, I don’t see no consequences. Hands, fingers to be precise that types every bit of horseshit. And I swear I have filthiest of mind, I’m a mean minded schnook!

Being doomed is a fiesta. I hate to say this but people love it when you’re doomed. You ask me why? I say, you ain’t alone when you’re doomed. You’re alone to be doomed but every other being around add to the miseries. Well that’s freaking life I guess. When you’re joyous you get thousands of more reasons to celebrate and when you’re down people around you make sure that you fall to the abyss of depths. Gosh! What a world we live in. Cheers to everyone involved to raise the glass with and those who are making my life more disastrous. But hey! I ain’t giving up. Bring on!

I wish I could be harsh sometimes, I really wish. And I mean harsh. Not from my hands, not from my tongue and not from my mind. These are much more familiar now, I wish I could be harsh straight from the heart. God I wish! And why do I have to be so good at forgiving? Why can’t I stand someone else begging sorry in front of me? And why it has to be me who have to lament for days when I’m mistaken. It’s so damn unfair, Life is so freaking unfair. I wonder and laugh at my own idiocy sometimes. I’m absurd to the limits. I know I can’t get all people around me pleased by me. Not a man had ever done that or will ever do. And I ain’t making history anyway by doing one. I can’t understand why on earth I’m so strained when I’m bad to anyone. Why do I have to be good to everyone? Is everyone good to me? Hell No! So why should I be?

And my feelings right now, I feel like crying. I don’t mean weeping; literally crying out all my tears. The waterworks are the liveliest proof that you’re alive, not even laughter as big could make you feel more alive. Gone are the days I changed my pillow cover every single day, not because I am that concerned about the hygiene. But because they had stains. I’d live with it happily, but this world is so into you that it’ll make a story out of it to sell it to the mass. And people will buy it, yes they will. It doesn’t matter whether you want to sell. You’ll not even get to know that it’s sold, you’ll come to know only after you hear it later. Everything can be sold these days, and the things that we considered the most priceless and invaluable in fact are the ones that do not even need to be marketed. We live in the time where feelings are browsed and selected, bought and delivered online. Yes, they mean nothing. We live in the time where tears are packaged and uploaded for sale.

You know it’s not your day when you do all your best to make people feel better and all you end up is upsetting them. What’s the use of your stories when none would listen you? What’s the point in mourning when you’ll not be consoled? What’s the point in having good faith when you’re not graced? What’s the point in having biggest of palaces in the world when you have none to live with? What’s the point in having luxurious Mercedes if it’s left for rusting without being driven? You know how it feels when you do all you could do, and all you get back is tons of guilt in return? Had I been writing on the white sheets, it’d have swollen up and the text size would grow bigger. But we live in the world where texts are inked without ink. My tears ain’t that acidic that a metal or polyester outer of a HP ProBook would suck it in to get itself swollen.

You know it’s not your day when you’re isolated for being good. Goodness pays off, I believe. But not very soon they said, well said. And it wouldn’t surprise me either if it goes unnoticed. Because the time has changed. People see and judge people at instant. They wouldn’t give a shit about nothing. People are so comfortable with the surface that they fear depth.  The world is so phony that only fraudulent survives. All goodness shall perish. Pretending is the new reality. Surface is the core. Appearance is the beauty. Shade is the light. Weakness is the strength. Venom is the antidote. Rejection is the acceptance. People who display love are loved back, not the one who loves. Pretty agreeable though, what’s tangible is the truth.

HOW GLOBAL ARE WE?

Globalization is probably the most debated topic in contemporary global market in recent decades and the use of the term grew exponentially as the planet braced to welcome twenty first century. First half of the first decade of the new century saw the launch Thomas L. Friedman’s book on globalization named “The World is flat”. He argued that the connectivity had lead the businesses to be powerful. He has contended that every company in the globe are at the ‘level playing field’ metaphoric of the word ‘flat’. Thus he suggests that every company operating in today’s competitive world along with countries and individuals requires a change in order to survive or be prepared to be swept by the incessant waves of globalization. In opposition, Pankaj Ghemawat counter argues that the idea presented by Friedman is based on hunch rather than on the logical ground.

This critical analysis on contradicting perspectives of International business strategy is the outcome of intense study of books, journals, articles, videos and several other mediums undertaken over the past few months. Written by an American Journalist and weekly columnist at New York Times, Thomas L. Friedman, “The world is flat” depicted the global scenario of business activities being performed around the globe in late 1990s and early 2000s and categorized them under three phase Globalization 1.0, Globalization 2.0 and Globalization 3.0. Discussing the ten important factors responsible for flattening of the world, Friedman was wary of the fact that this flattening could actually impede USA economically thus suggesting the remedies. But is globalization surely making the world flat? Not everybody thinks so. Though the book received number of awards and is indeed a bestseller, many critics slammed the argument including Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz and global strategist and economist Pankaj Ghemawat.

A very few people would disagree that the world today is extremely globalized. Business today have been so simpler that boundaries between the countries have become absolutely obsolete. But is the world really flat that the geographical boundaries are utterly irrelevant?

In the bestseller book “the world is flat”, Thomas L. Friedman ingeniously described the next phase of globalization. The argument made by Friedman may be valid as he have portrayed several situations and examples during his travel abroad and conversation with several business as well as non-business people. The conclusion made by Friedman in the book urges government, organizations and individuals to be wary of the dynamic world and stay ahead of the trends that are most likely to cause shift in the way things is being done today in order to stay competitive in the global marketplace. Several evidences discussed in the book that have caused the world to be flattened may or may not be relevant now as the pace of technological change has surpassed the previous predictions regarding the future. Moreover, Friedman even discussed about the forces and challenges that could hinder the pace of flattening of the world citing the threat of Al-Qaeda. Times have changed by now and Al-Qaeda exert minimal threats in the today’s global scenario, but the threat of terrorism still exists from newer and fresher groups. ISIL has been the major threats to every developed nation now with some deadly attacks still fresh in the memory, latest being the Paris Attack.

As the final pages of the book approaches, Friedman discusses about “the Dell theory of conflict prevention” wherein he argues that the two countries are less likely to go to war if they have invested in the business together and are thus being the part of same global supply chain. Friedman even suggests that the forces which helped the world to get flattened could even work the other way round. Citing the example of the upgrade in the technology, he advocates that technology is unable to get us protected and it is us who should control and decide how to make the best use out of it.

There is no arguing to the fact that this age is of globalization and the companies, countries or even individuals failing to be compatible with it are bound to fail sooner or later. But is the world globalized to the extent that it has become flat and the companies all around the globe are fairly placed at the same level? What is the degree of the globalization? Has the globalization reached saturation that there seems no relevance of the physical boundaries? The answer is not fairly simple. Soon after the book released, it gained fair proportion of the acclaims critically. The Washington Post in 2005 termed the book an “engrossing tour” and an “enthralling read”. Warren Bass (2005), quoted that “We’ve no real idea how the 21st century’s history will unfold, but this terrifically stimulating book will certainly inspire readers to start thinking it all through”, in the book review published In the Washington Post.

But it was criticism which fueled the debate of whether the world is actually flat. Joseph E. Stiglitz (2007) in his famous book “Making globalization work” argued that despite the radical amendment in the global landscape, not only the world was not flat, in fact in many facets the world was getting less flat. This was just the beginning and was followed by several other criticism. Professor of London School of Economics, John Gray (2005), counter argued the notion made by Friedman that globalization makes the world peaceful and free. The criticism didn’t end that soon rather took up the pace. Presenting his idea with the abundance of the data and facts, Pankaj Ghemawat (2007), in the article published in Foreign Policy magazine opposed the viewpoint of the Friedman saying only a fraction of the globalization we ponder actually exists in reality. He very precisely cites the example saying 90% total internet traffics, total investments, and all phone calls remains within the national boarder and even suggests that the level of globalization which is roughly around 10% could still slip away. He argues that even though global economic and financial hubs like New York, London, Frankfurt, and Hong Kong are well interconnected they are found to have been concentrated very much on domestic activity despite the platform. Arguing that the perfect representation of the globalization is FDI, and when looked upon to the total fixed investment made, less than 10% of the investment has actually crossed the border slamming the mantra “Investment knows no boundaries” as argued by globalization champion, metaphoric of Friedman. Other several interesting facts presented by Pankaj includes the long term migration which stood 3% in 1900s is <3% now as presented in figure 2 below. Google, considered as most globalized website have less than 30% of market share in Russia in search engines, the biggest complication for google to operate in Russia is the complexity of the Russian language. Pankaj in his article in Foreign Policy seems to have analyzed all the possible factors representative of the globalization consisting cross-border migration, telephone calls, management research and education, private charitable giving, patenting, stock investment, and trade, as a fraction of gross domestic product (GDP) have found that all of the above is closer to 10% rather than 100%. Thus, called this the “10 Percent Presumption.”

Though the World have become a small marketplace as of result of development in sophisticated technology and huge numbers of barriers has been eliminated, the distances still matters. The impact of distance is identified and assessed by the use of CAGE framework discovered by Pankaj Ghemawat. More the distance between the two countries in different dimensions of the CAGE framework, riskier it is to do the business. Culture, Administration, Geographic, Economic distance are the dimension of the framework. Idea of globalization is abysmal and more complex as it portrays the hue of iceberg. Globalization is the multifaceted and façade, thus presenting the surficial appearance. Though Friedman was partially right on the argument he made, the geographical, historical, administrative, cultural, economic distances has always relevance and cannot be ignored. No matter the level of globalization, national boundaries can never go obsolete let alone at today’s extent of globalization. Conventional globalization definitions refer to interdependence and interconnectedness of economies, but as the time passes the definition becomes even more complex as several factor must be taken into consideration. Both the parties have valid point to make the argument, in fact these extremes at the either end are the seemingly contradicting perspectives of International Business strategy. One can only conclude that the globalization is the factor that have made the world a single marketplace but the degree of globalization is not the one that we have assumed it to be. Thinking global and being globalized is not bad per se, but to think that the world has flattened and that national boundaries are irrelevance could be an overstatement unless and until it is backed by the reasonable data.

Globalization is an inevitable force. Those organization aspiring to grow must consider the fact that the pace of change taking place in business market is very rapid globally. Every big companies wants to go global to increase their presence worldwide and further growth potential. But it is easier said than done. The world is not globalized to the extent that we are made to believe, in fact we have been made to believe the exaggerated situation of globalization. This is what Pankaj Ghemawat argues in the criticism of the Thomas L. Friedman’s “the world is flat”. The level of globalization is still very amateur, even though if it was to the extent Friedman have suggested distances still matter. Several trade theories put across over the centuries have never considered the distance factor, even till date it has been ignored. Even Michael porter have failed to address the issue in his diamond theory of national competitive advantage. But trade is all about the distances and globalization can never eliminate the physical distances and other distances as argued by Ghemawat in the CAGE framework.

History doesn’t lies, what has happened in the past acts as the roadmap of the future. The recent past trends are likely to continue and drastic change is least expected except in the field of Science and technology. Every aspects that reminds us of globalization when looked closely upon gives us the clear picture as to the extent of globalization. Facebook for example is a global social network with users around the globe, but when we observe it more closely we find that the level of interaction internationally is less than 15%. So the presented extent of the globalization is way much more than the existing level of globalization.

The exaggerated presentation of the extent of globalization seems to have great impact on the individual perspectives which Ghemawat discusses in the TED Talk through some recent researches. Citizens of France tends to think that their country accounts for about 24% of the immigrant population which is in fact 8% of the total population. Also American citizen when asked about the percentage of their federal budget that went to foreign aid answered very close to 30%, which in fact is 1% as depicted in the figure 1 above. This suggests that exaggerated presentation of any ideas without the solid backing of the data and figures leads to the overestimation and inflated view about the matter which in turn might lead to the making up the bad decisions on these grounds.

 

Critical Analysis on’The World is Flat’

Executive Summary

Globalization is probably the most debated topic in contemporary global market in recent decades and the use of the term grew exponentially as the planet braced to welcome twenty first century. First half of the first decade of the new century saw the launch Thomas L. Friedman’s book on globalization named “The World is flat”. He argued that the connectivity had lead the businesses to be powerful. He has contended that every company in the globe are at the ‘level playing field’ metaphoric of the word ‘flat’. Thus he suggests that every company operating in today’s competitive world along with countries and individuals requires a change in order to survive or be prepared to be swept by the incessant waves of globalization. In opposition, Pankaj Ghemawat counter argues that the idea presented by Friedman is based on hunch rather than on the logical ground.

Introduction

This critical analysis on contradicting perspectives of International business strategy is the outcome of intense study of books, journals, articles, videos and several other mediums undertaken over the past few months. Written by an American Journalist and weekly columnist at New York Times, Thomas L. Friedman, “The world is flat” depicted the global scenario of business activities being performed around the globe in late 1990s and early 2000s and categorized them under three phase Globalization 1.0, Globalization 2.0 and Globalization 3.0. Discussing the ten important factors responsible for flattening of the world, Friedman was wary of the fact that this flattening could actually impede USA economically thus suggesting the remedies. But is globalization surely making the world flat? Not everybody thinks so. Though the book received number of awards and is indeed a bestseller, many critics slammed the argument including Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz and global strategist and economist Pankaj Ghemawat.

Context Analysis/ Critique 

A very few people would disagree that the world today is extremely globalized. Business today have been so simpler that boundaries between the countries have become absolutely obsolete. But is the world really flat that the geographical boundaries are utterly irrelevant?

In his bestseller book “the world is flat”, Thomas L. Friedman ingeniously described the next phase of globalization. The argument made by Friedman may be valid as he have portrayed several situations and examples during his travel abroad and conversation with several business as well as non-business people. The conclusion made by Friedman in the book urges government, organizations and individuals to be wary of the dynamic world and stay ahead of the trends that are most likely to cause shift in the way things is being done today in order to stay competitive in the global marketplace. Several evidences discussed in the book that have caused the world to be flattened may or may not be relevant now as the pace of technological change has surpassed the previous predictions regarding the future. Moreover, Friedman even discussed about the forces and challenges that could hinder the pace of flattening of the world citing the threat of Al-Qaeda. Times have changed by now and Al-Qaeda exert minimal threats in the today’s global scenario, but the threat of terrorism still exists from newer and fresher groups. ISIL has been the major threats to every developed nation now with some deadly attacks still fresh in the memory, latest being the Paris Attack.

As the final pages of the book approaches, Friedman discusses about “the Dell theory of conflict prevention” wherein he argues that the two countries are less likely to go to war if they have invested in the business together and are thus being the part of same global supply chain. Friedman even suggests that the forces which helped the world to get flattened could even work the other way round. Citing the example of the upgrade in the technology, he advocates that technology is unable to get us protected and it is us who should control and decide how to make the best use out of it.

There is no arguing to the fact that this age is of globalization and the companies, countries or even individuals failing to be compatible with it are bound to fail sooner or later. But is the world globalized to the extent that it has become flat and the companies all around the globe are fairly placed at the same level? What is the degree of the globalization? Has the globalization reached saturation that there seems no relevance of the physical boundaries? The answer is not fairly simple. Soon after the book released, it gained fair proportion of the acclaims critically. The Washington Post in 2005 termed the book an “engrossing tour” and an “enthralling read”. Warren Bass (2005), quoted that “We’ve no real idea how the 21st century’s history will unfold, but this terrifically stimulating book will certainly inspire readers to start thinking it all through”, in the book review published In the Washington Post.

But it was criticism which fueled the debate of whether the world is actually flat. Joseph E. Stiglitz (2007) in his famous book “Making globalization work” argued that despite the radical amendment in the global landscape, not only the world was not flat, in fact in many facets the world was getting less flat. This was just the beginning and was followed by several other criticism. Professor of London School of Economics, John Gray (2005), counter argued the notion made by Friedman that globalization makes the world peaceful and free. The criticism didn’t end that soon rather took up the pace. Presenting his idea with the abundance of the data and facts, Pankaj Ghemawat (2007), in the article published in Foreign Policy magazine opposed the viewpoint of the Friedman saying only a fraction of the globalization we ponder actually exists in reality. He very precisely cites the example saying 90% total internet traffics, total investments, and all phone calls remains within the national boarder and even suggests that the level of globalization which is roughly around 10% could still slip away. He argues that even though global economic and financial hubs like New York, London, Frankfurt, and Hong Kong are well interconnected they are found to have been concentrated very much on domestic activity despite the platform. Arguing that the perfect representation of the globalization is FDI, and when looked upon to the total fixed investment made, less than 10% of the investment has actually crossed the border slamming the mantra “Investment knows no boundaries” as argued by globalization champion, metaphoric of Friedman. Other several interesting facts presented by Pankaj includes the long term migration which stood 3% in 1900s is <3% now as presented in figure 2 below. Google, considered as most globalized website have less than 30% of market share in Russia in search engines, the biggest complication for google to operate in Russia is the complexity of the Russian language. Pankaj in his article in Foreign Policy seems to have analyzed all the possible factors representative of the globalization consisting cross-border migration, telephone calls, management research and education, private charitable giving, patenting, stock investment, and trade, as a fraction of gross domestic product (GDP) have found that all of the above is closer to 10% rather than 100%. Thus, called this the “10 Percent Presumption.”

Conclusion

Though the World have become a small marketplace as of result of development in sophisticated technology and huge numbers of barriers has been eliminated, the distances still matters. The impact of distance is identified and assessed by the use of CAGE framework discovered by Pankaj Ghemawat. More the distance between the two countries in different dimensions of the CAGE framework, riskier it is to do the business. Culture, Administration, Geographic, Economic distance are the dimension of the framework. Idea of globalization is abysmal and more complex as it portrays the hue of iceberg. Globalization is the multifaceted and façade, thus presenting the surficial appearance. Though Friedman was partially right on the argument he made, the geographical, historical, administrative, cultural, economic distances has always relevance and cannot be ignored. No matter the level of globalization, national boundaries can never go obsolete let alone at today’s extent of globalization. Conventional globalization definitions refer to interdependence and interconnectedness of economies, but as the time passes the definition becomes even more complex as several factor must be taken into consideration. Both the parties have valid point to make the argument, in fact these extremes at the either end are the seemingly contradicting perspectives of International Business strategy. One can only conclude that the globalization is the factor that have made the world a single marketplace but the degree of globalization is not the one that we have assumed it to be. Thinking global and being globalized is not bad per se, but to think that the world has flattened and that national boundaries are irrelevance could be an overstatement unless and until it is backed by the reasonable data.

Detailed Analysis from an Organizational Perspective:

Globalization is an inevitable force. Those organization aspiring to grow must consider the fact that the pace of change taking place in business market is very rapid globally. Every big companies wants to go global to increase their presence worldwide and further growth potential. But it is easier said than done. The world is not globalized to the extent that we are made to believe, in fact we have been made to believe the exaggerated situation of globalization. This is what Pankaj Ghemawat argues in the criticism of the Thomas L. Friedman’s “the world is flat”. The level of globalization is still very amateur, even though if it was to the extent Friedman have suggested distances still matter. Several trade theories put across over the centuries have never considered the distance factor, even till date it has been ignored. Even Michael porter have failed to address the issue in his diamond theory of national competitive advantage. But trade is all about the distances and globalization can never eliminate the physical distances and other distances as argued by Ghemawat in the CAGE framework.

Giant Bicycle is a global giant with local touch. The company has now presence in every part of the globe which a big achievement per se. Having manufacturing plant in four locations around the globe and supplying almost at the every corner of the world, giant have global presence everywhere. There is no denying the fact that the credit for this goes to all the flattening force that Friedman discussed in his book. In an attempt to dissect the globalization he talked over several flattening force and argues that the only way to excel in the global economy is to stay curious and innovative. Giant Bicycle was the epitome of innovation and Research & Development in its industry. They were award winning innovators in several areas. Despite the presence in several places around the world, they never jumped into R&D in every location rather most of the resources was concentrated in single location in Taiwan. This helped them in preventing duplication of effort and leakage of ideas.

Giant bicycles have manufacturing plants in Taiwan, China and Netherlands. Entering these countries have their own strategic importance and the decision made is the outcome of in depth analysis on several aspects. Giant Bicycles, while entering China adopted green field strategy and set it up from the scratch. Later on they had to work in Joint venture with china’s biggest bicycle manufacture to offset the risk of planned economy, local culture and local competition. The CAGE distance framework helps in selection of the countries to enter for doing the business. The cultural, administrative, geographical, economic distance between the countries plays an important role whatever be the intensity of the globalization. The ideology of China is more Communist and economy is centrally planned which lead Giant bicycle to enter the market through joint venture, While Netherland is the European nation with more of socialistic ideology. Thus the ideology of the host nation do not always match with that of the country they want to enter. Taiwan and USA have more or less same political ideology with Taiwan very much lean towards capitalism. Not just the ideologies, several factors like social norms, practices, natural resources, Human Resources, Infrastructures, financial resources, information knowledge, etc. are to be well analyzed before making an entry decision to any country.

Innovation has been key to the success of Giant Bicycle in all Asian, European and American market. Giant is largest Original design mad original Brand manufacture and is also the original Equipment manufacturer for several other companies. It is all the result of the exceptional R&D activities performed in the company. This is the reason they are manufacturing bicycle not only for them but also but other top brands around the globe. Having a strong presence all around the globe is not an instant achievement. The selection of the countries by the Giant Bicycle to enter in the initial phases have the strong backing behind it. If you take China, it is not just the market/ population that was the driving factor. As an emerging economy which the pace of development outgunning several other countries, China was facing a lot of traffic in the major cities which convinced the customer to opt for the bicycles. Say Netherlands, Which is the strategic decision made not just for that particular nation but for the entire Europe. European region is long known for their concern towards the environmental protection along with their individual fitness. To add upon that, Europe hosts a lot of sporting events every year. USA, on the other must have been selected to get the hold of the other North American countries in the following years. Moreover, South America consists of numerous emerging economies with huge potential, which might have been well considered by the giant bicycle before entering the US market.

As being discussed since the beginning, the extent of globalization is not to the level we are made to believe. The American economy serves as the benchmark for the economies around the globe. Benchmark in the sense that rest of the economies reflects the giant economy during the extremes. The administrative distance between the countries affect the company’s decision in entering the market. The difference in the currency though seems a simple issue but has huge impact once the company operates. Giant Bicycle when adopted ‘Global Sourcing-Decentralized Strategy’, it enabled them to have lower-cost of components, higher quality inputs and lower risks. But the major risks they possessed was from the exchange rate fluctuations. Thus, absence of shared monetary is a huge distance that have to be well taken care of before deciding the entry.

History doesn’t lies, what has happened in the past acts as the roadmap of the future. The recent past trends are likely to continue and drastic change is least expected except in the field of Science and technology. Every aspects that reminds us of globalization when looked closely upon gives us the clear picture as to the extent of globalization. Facebook for example is a global social network with users around the globe, but when we observe it more closely we find that the level of interaction internationally is less than 15%. So the presented extent of the globalization is way much more than the existing level of globalization.

The exaggerated presentation of the extent of globalization seems to have great impact on the individual perspectives which Ghemawat discusses in the TED Talk through some recent researches. Citizens of France tends to think that their country accounts for about 24% of the immigrant population which is in fact 8% of the total population. Also American citizen when asked about the percentage of their federal budget that went to foreign aid answered very close to 30%, which in fact is 1% as depicted in the figure 1 above. This suggests that exaggerated presentation of any ideas without the solid backing of the data and figures leads to the overestimation and inflated view about the matter which in turn might lead to the making up the bad decisions on these grounds.

Giant Bicycle have already tasted the success in the international market and is well aware of the extent and level of the globalization. But the false understanding of the market and international scenario have brushed away the biggest of biggest company, recent example being NOKIA. As argued by Friedman, if every companies around the sphere were at the level playing ground, Giant Bicycle would not have been in the position they are now worldwide. Meaning, the World is not flat or globalized enough to bring every party to the level playing ground.

So far the investment and expansion decision made by the Giant Bicycle is very appropriate and well calculated. The success story of the Giant Bicycle is exemplary till now which may not be the case for every company around the globe. Giant Bicycle when making the new decision regarding expansion should not be swept away by the surficial debates regarding the globalization, ignoring the impact of the distance that still exists. The other important issue to be considered is not to be flattered by the arguments saying cross boarder integration is close to complete. Any decision a company makes on these grounds are unlikely for the goodness of the company. Giant Bicycle should be well aware of this issue.

References

Friedman, T. L. (2005) The World is flat. New York: The Penguin Group

Ghemawat, P., Altman S.A. (2014) dhl global connectedness index 2014. Bonn Germany: Deutsche Post DHL, Headquarters

Ramnath, N.S. (2011) Pankaj Ghemawat: The World is Not Flat. So What. [Online]. Available form:http://forbesindia.com/article/special/pankaj-ghemawat-the-world-is-not-flat-sowhat/26292/1?id=26292&pg=1 . [Accessed: 31st Dec 2015].

Fox, J. (2014) the world is still not flat. [Online]. Available form: https://hbr.org/2014/11/theworld-is-still-not-flat/. [Accessed: 31st Dec 2015]

Ted talk. (2012) Talk Show.

A Melancholy Joy

It was just a mere duplication of similar nights I was going through. I was not getting sleep that easily since past few months. Lying on bed without getting sleep have become part of my daily itinerary. And today as well it was more than two hours I was lying on bed getting no sleep at all. I had even switched the lights off and closed my eyes but it wouldn’t work either.

Stream of thoughts would flow through my mind during these sleepless nights. Family, friends, life, love, career, country; there was absolutely no criteria as to thoughts. May be that is the reason why people call it thoughts, you have undeniably no control over it. Wherever it leads, we are bound to follow and go on with the rhythm. You can only try control your emotions and try to create the positivity out of it, only try. Today was indifferent to previous nights. It started with the ongoing crisis in the country, I was absolutely helpless and could only pray for the betterment. There was no priority on which thought would strike first, it was as arbitrary as it could get. Only thing I was sure of was her, She would come every day with no time constraint. She would come anytime and rarely leave me alone.

I was unable to decide whether to approach her. I knew it was time I should express my sentiments to her, but something was keeping me from doing it, or maybe I never wanted to. I was not sure anymore that I was not in love with her.  Circumstances were similar on her side too. I was more than sure that she as well had feelings for me but she never came across, but maybe she didn’t have any, just maybe. Months and years passed since we first met and started getting-together very often but neither she nor I had the guts to speak it up. The calls we made and texts we shared already made tons of bytes, but perhaps it was meant to be this way and nothing more.

Preeti asked me to meet her one chilly December afternoon. She wanted to meet me may be because I was leaving for my hometown the very next morning though the finals of final year in University were approaching. It was late December, One would rarely witness sun, and it was mere thick smoky fog that made up the sky. Incessant gentle rain for past forty-eight hours have made the day cooler to the limits. Even in midday people walking around seemed like they were smoking. There were considerable number of people burning the firewood and chatting around with tea in their hands. I was waiting her just beneath a temple near busy Mangalbazar Street. Reaching there from Baneswor wouldn’t take that long for her. Lots of people with different dynamics were around the site. I started scanning the environment around me. A group of old labors waiting for the work, middle aged beggar shivering with mere thin shirt on him with a aluminum bowl on his right hand, foreign visitors of different nationalities taking pictures of the old monuments, number of couples sitting closer with their hands on the other may be to escape the coldness, busy vehicles in the muddy roads.

I saw Preeti approaching me from some fifty meters far on her regular scooter. We often met there and she was well aware where I’d wait for when we met there. She used to wait for me in the same place when she reach earlier. She approached nearer with ever smiling greeting. She had black sneakers on her feet matching black jeans. Her T-shirt underneath a knitted sweater had print of some cartoon character which I didn’t know as I am not used to watching cartoon series.

“Hellooooooooo.” She said lengthening the later part.

“Hello, what’s up?” I said smiling.

“I’m very good.”

We sat right beneath the temple where I was standing. The floor was wet but not that wet that it would make us uncomfortable. She unzipped her bag up and took a Cadbury of a fair size and handed it to me.

“What for?” I said as I received it from her and tore up its packaging instantly.

“I don’t need no reason to give you chocolate, do I?”  She said.

As soon as I removed the cover off the chocolates she took both cover and the chocolate off my hand. She took the first bite and gave me the rest and kept the cover in her hand bag. She never used to throw any wastes anywhere outside unless there is a trash bin nearby.

“Well, still I thought there should have been some reason. So.” I said biting from the rest she gave me.

She remained silent as I kept eating. I didn’t return the favor by giving her back the chocolate and kept eating. But she had some other idea, before I could bite the last piece of it she took it off my hand.

“You don’t have any manner.” She said as she turned her face the other way.

“I thought you got it for me.” I joked.

She said nothing but ate the chocolate. I laughed looking at her she smiled in return.

“I won’t get you anything now onwards”. She said.

“Okay” I couldn’t resist saying. “It’s my turn to get you something now.” I said and held her hand to make her stand as we walked our way out of the site.

It was still drizzling, the atmosphere was way too good to walk around together. It was long since we have had a walk together. We made our way towards nowhere, both silently agreeing to keep on walking not knowing where. While we were walking my memory went back to the time and was clueless of how it all started. I still remember the day I first saw her, the early university classes. She was so becoming. Her voice very dulcet. An ingénue, extraordinarily ordinary. It took us years to get closer but it still seemed like there was a gap consciously or unconsciously maintained. There was a gap in a sense that lot other thought we were couple, not necessarily, in fact we were not.

“Will we just walk around or go somewhere?” She said her patience degrading.

“Huh?” I pretended unaware though I heard her well.

“Let’s go for a coffee. It’s freaking cold.” she said.

“Sure. Where?” I knew lots of places around but I wanted her to tell.

“No idea. You tell.” She said.

We walked back towards the Darbaur square where her scooter was parked and took her at the terrace of D Square Café. I ordered milk coffee while she preferred black. Soon after there was a downpour, but it was evanescent.

“It’s exams in next two weeks and you’re going home?” She asked with fair sum of surprise in her face.

“I got to go, so is the circumstances.” I said.

“Take me with you.” She said with a fugitive look.

“No, unless you marry me.” I joked. She knew I was joking still she responded with a pretending surprise look on her face.

“I’ll be back in few days, I need to be there now.”  I said.

We were there for some couple of hours, had snacks and talked a lot. The rain was showing no sign of stopping. We waited for rain to stop but it was just not happening. We decided to move as waiting for the rain to stop would be a big mistake we would be making and it was almost dark as it was short winter day. I paid the bill as we went downstairs.

As we reached outside she opened up her bag and took an umbrella out which had flowers print in pink background. I was surprised as till now she was acting like she didn’t have any. She left me wondering when she took out raincoat as well. It was no wonder that two-wheelers usually have raincoat with them, but it took me by surprise because she was absolutely quiet till then.

“You never said you’ve got one.” I said.

“I didn’t feel like saying.” She said raising her eyebrows.

I smiled. She smiled back.

She put on the raincoat while I covered myself with an umbrella on the back seat of the scooter. Unlike other days she dropped me to my bus stand.

“Take umbrella with you, I’ll get it later.” She said after I got off.

“Of course, I’ll.” I said and smiled.

We departed.

“Preeti” I called her as she was about to accelerate.

She turned back and took her helmet off the head.

“You are pretty.” I said. She smiled and disappeared within seconds.

Next day I went to my native place and finished my task in about three days. Nothing could beat the feeling of being with families, friends and people around your hometown. As always returning back to city from home is a difficult task for me. The journey back to Kathmandu was interesting though with cool weather and snowcapped route.

Next fifteen days or so passed in blink of an eye. In no time finals of final year started. It ended in no time. It went good, I was not bothered about exams and results these days anyway. I met her once in those exam breaks and frequently during exams.

The difficult times were about to begin. Probably the most difficult time for an individual is the interval between the graduation and the post-graduation or finding the job. People go crazy at times not knowing what to do and what not to. It took some four months to get the result published which followed more misery, a status of educated unemployed. Same was the case with most of the friends including Preeti. The times would be more frustrating seeing other friends getting enrolled somewhere else be it in job or post-graduation.

These breaks made us ever closer. We met almost every week and talked about life, career and even politics. Not love, never. Because we were not in love. If we were it would have been a different story. Neither she nor I was aware what we were up to.

“You know what? People think that we are in a relationship” I remember once she asked me.

“Are we not?” I replied her very casually.

She had just smiled then asking no further questions.

It was complex for everyone to understand and we were no indifferent. We met up every week, talked almost every day in phone, shared tons of texts, went many places together, got caught together by many friends, but we never kissed each other. Maybe because we were not in relationship or maybe this relationship was meant to be like this. She was more than a friend to me and maybe I was same for her or maybe not. May be I loved her and maybe not. May be she loved me and maybe not. Maybe I was not ready or maybe she was not. Or maybe we both were not. May be I was too reluctant and cautious to speak out or maybe she was nervous or maybe we both were. It was so complex that it was all ‘maybes’.

Times were difficult and things were getting complex, to add on to the glooms I was making them more intricate. Intricate in a sense that I myself was unable to decide what I was up to. Do I love her or were we just friends? If we were only friends why were we acting like we were more than friends? Was it time that I should speak out my feeling? Or do I have any feelings? I bet she wasn’t having any good times either. She might be thinking up same, she actually is.

It was now or never if I had to speak. In no time we would be completely lost in our own respective world. I have to think about Job, career, further studies, and family and so on. All these things were right beside the ingress waiting for the perfect timing to start knocking on. If I do not speak up now it would be late, too late. Should I speak out? Or do I have anything to speak up? And if I do not speak up, will I regret when she is gone? Do I love her? No. Either I do not love her or I am not ready yet. If so how long will it take for me to get ready? I myself was raining questions over me with only me capable of answering it. But I was not getting answer, not even for a single one.

Time flies, it really does. It was more than a year since I graduated. I had already joined course in post-graduation while Preeti got employed in a private company. This past year was no unlike to any of the previous years as we were ever same. We met frequently, shared good and bad times together, share hundreds of texts and calls. And obviously I did not propose her, neither did she. During a call few months back she was so close to speaking up what she felt but she didn’t, whatever the circumstances. Or maybe she was not and I just felt like that. But I am pretty sure she was just about to. Whatever she expressed that day gyrated around what she felt for me. But it was so complex that it left me completely perplexed, I could not conclude what she meant. And me myself was unsure of what I would reply if she actually proposed me. I was still not sure whether I loved her or maybe I was not ready yet. It was all chaos inside me.

Days and months passed, but inside me it was mayhem. Fact was I was used to turmoil, and I felt I was okay when I was disturbed and I was disturbed everyday with same recurring questions. And as always I had no answer.

Festive season was approaching, it was late September. Weather was as crazy as it could get. In no time it would change from freezing cold to scorching sun and vice versa. It was more than a month since we last met. And lately we had limited communication. I had my usual college assignments and was busy preparing it after dinner lying in bed. It was Friday and next day was off. I got a call from her which I received in minimal rings.

“Busy huh? No calls, no texts. What’s up?” She said right after I received the call before I could even respond.

“Yeah. To some extent, busy preparing assignments.” I replied. “How about you, how’s job?”

“I’m doing well.” She said. “You free tomorrow? Let’s meet up.”

“Hmm. Yeah I guess” I just couldn’t say no and realized later that I had appointment somewhere else too. Later on I managed the prior appointment for some other day, I desperately wanted to see her.

Surprisingly the conversation ended soon. She had asked for almost a day. Deal was she would pick me at seven in the morning in her scooter. I was excited to be seeing her in more than a month. The feeling was different than the other time though, but I was unaware of the reasons. I didn’t get sleep easily that night and had strange feeling unlike other days.

By the time I reached the place we agreed upon to meet up she was already there. She was seated on scooter with helmet off her head. She raised her hands as soon as she saw me approaching her.

“You’ve lost weight.” She said before anything as I reached closer and faked a smile. It just didn’t look natural.

“You gained some. So, we’re balanced.” I said.

“Come, sit.” She said pointing backwards.

“But where are we going?” I said taking a back seat.

“No idea. I myself don’t know where.” She said as she drove towards Koteshwor.

“Where you heading then?” I asked a little amazed.

“Don’t know. Could be anywhere.” She replied and drove faster.

She kept on throwing questions upon me as she drove. Not very particular about anything, she just couldn’t stop speaking and I loved it. Though bored I kept answering her. There was very less traffic early morning. Maybe she had something in mind, but I was oblivious as of where she was heading. She turned towards Bhaktapur from koteshowor, thought she was heading to historical site Bhaktapur Darbar Square. I realized I was wrong when she headed the other way straight through the highway.

“Do I not have any right to know where we are going?” I asked pinching her back not hurting but enough to get her attention.

“Don’t know, I’ll drive as far I can.” She said.

I couldn’t help myself. She kept driving speaking hell lot of things every now and then. I wonder if she ever feels mouth ache in the evening. We drove past Sangha, Banepa and reached Dhulikhel. She stopped at a corner there, took helmet off her head and said “Let’s take a break. We’ll have tea here.”

“I’m not going any farther than this.” I nodded and said.

“Why not?” she asked instantly.

“What do you mean ‘why not’? I’m not going.” I replied sounding little unhappy.

“Ok. Cool down” She said smiling.

I was more familiar with this place than her but it was her who was leading me today. We walked through the clean blacktopped paves leaving the highway behind us. It was mere silence, none us of spoke for about eight to ten minutes.

“Speak up” She said breaking the deadlock.

“What’s the plan, huh? All of a sudden and after so long.” I said.

“Nothing. I felt like it was years since I saw you.” She replied.

“I hope you are not in love with me.” I don’t know whether I mean it but I said. I wanted to make a joke but I think I sounded serious and suddenly I felt like I spoke it out of nothing. I never intended to ask that or even if I meant it, I didn’t want to ask this way.

She didn’t speak. We were still walking. The weather was varying every few minutes. It was more than couple of minutes that she didn’t speak. She was neither upset nor her face looked pleasing. She untied her short black hair while walking and held the clip on her hand. We kept walking in stillness. She still looked puzzled and I couldn’t swell despair onto it by bucketing more questions.

“Hey, you upset?” I said stopping her.

“No.” She answered in a word almost unwillingly.

And again it was followed by silence, sheer muteness. And it was longer than the former one. I was cursing myself for all these. We sat at the edge of the road. The view below was curvy roads in the midst of less dense forest and few houses. We were both shut.

“Do you love me?” She asked out of naught.

It left me stunned. Not because it was very surprising but because I was expecting it another way round. Not as a question but as a proposal. Though I was not sure a bit what would be my response. I tried looking casual.

“Off course, how could anyone not love you?” I said and immediately realized that this was not the answer she was expecting. I was too ordinary and conventional.

“Yes, I love you.” I said correcting myself if I was wrong or maybe bitty earlier.

And again she spoke nothing. Her face expressionless and vacant. Or maybe it was my inability to read something out of her face. She was either unreadable or unresponsive. Either way I got nothing out of it. But slowly I saw her face saddened. It looked troubled and worried.

“Why did you never propose me?” She asked.

I was unable to figure out her intention behind this. Was she compelling me to purpose her or notifying me that it’s too late. Her eyes looked saturated but she was not lamenting. It left me wordless.

“Neither did you.” I said.

She suddenly started weeping but she wasn’t howling. She tried to remain silent but couldn’t stop her waterworks rolling down her cheeks. I went closer to her, in the touching distance. I held her hands on mine but didn’t whisper a word. She kept her head on my shoulder, she was still weeping. We were beside the road and as we were off the highway traffic was almost negligible. I still had no idea what to speak out. I don’t remember how long we sat there together without speaking, but I am sure it was long.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I said, her head was still resting on my shoulder.

She said nothing.

“Come, we’ll go somewhere.” I said and held her hand tight to wake her up.

She did wake up. But I had no idea where to go. Not that I didn’t know any places there but because I was unable to choose the right place to go at that very circumstances.

We walked back to the town in turtle’s pace. We decided to go to a café nearby the road before we reached the town. The café was made up of bamboo and looked temporary but was beautiful from both inside and outside. It was spacious inside. We took seat nearby a corner from where the pave outside was visible. A beautiful lady and a guy were two table in front of us in the same vertical.

It was almost eleven in the morning and I was already hungry and most probably she was too.

“Order something, I’m hungry. Aren’t you?” I said.

“I’m not feeling like eating.” She replied. Her eyes were still wet but she was not weeping.

“You aint no robot. Are you?” I joked.

She was expressionless neither she replied anything.

I checked menu and ordered something to eat. She was still not looking at me straightforward though we sat facing each other.

“Come on, look up.” I said raising her chin up.

She had ‘I’m sorry’ expression on her face, just a mere expression. She faked a smile with soaking eye. I felt so bad that she looked so odd. That face would look prettier than full moon while smiling. But she had lost it today.

Looking at her acquitted face I knew that she had something in mind that she wanted to speak out but somehow she was not doing it. Or maybe there was something that stopped her from doing it. Either way she was hiding something from me which I was more than sure of.

Slowly she looked better, better in a sense that her face looked more expressive and smiled natural occasionally yet she was not speaking. She would communicate just by gesture. We got our order served. She ate very little and ever slow. I gave her company till the very end eating in same pace. By that time she had started speaking, but it was very limited. Most of the time she was using only gestures just nodding on my queries.

“Want something else?” I asked her.

“Fanta.” She said specifically and immediately. And smiled soon after realizing that she acted strange for that particular day. I was so glad that she spoke with such an urgency.

I ordered her choice. She preferred drinking through pipe while I drank from bottle itself. I asked for the bill after we sipped off. ‘Five hundreds and fifty-five’ read the bill. She stopped me while I tried to reach my back pocket for my wallet. She dragged the bill from my left hand, checked, unzipped her bag, finally kept a thousand rupee note inside the bill. We stayed there for about another one hour. It was already two in the afternoon when I checked the watch after we agreed upon returning back.

We walked back the same lane towards her two wheeler barely speaking.

We drove back the same road. Like in the morning there was very few traffic maybe because it was Saturday. In less than an hour we reached back to Kathmandu. We scarcely spoke all the way. We departed with minimal formalities. She kept waving her hand in the air for quite long. I occasionally turned back and waived back her.

I was completely exhausted when I reached home. I laid down in the bed.  I don’t remember when I fell asleep but was awake at around eight in the evening. I realized I had slept for four hours at least. I didn’t feel like coming out of the bed though I was awake. Instead I pulled off a blanket and laid there. Today was completely different to other days when we used to meet. I was still unable to figure out the intention of why she wanted to meet up. Because it was no close to any other day we spent together. I was just thinking and thinking. Right then my phone beeped with a message.

It was preeti. The text read, “I am in a relationship with one of my officemate since last month. He is cute loving guy. Thought I’d tell you today, so I called you to meet up. But I was unable to speak out.”

I don’t know how I reacted to it. I was exultant and elated. I was wretched and miserable as well. I was tempered and filled with rage at one point but very next I wanted to hug her and express delight on her happiness (if she was). I wasn’t happy but I could not be sad at all. I was not down but my senses didn’t urge me to celebrate. I was in anxious state of mind.

I replied “Congratulations!!”

I don’t know whether I meant it.

2012/09/11

गाउँ मेरै थियो घर थिएन

एक त छ महिनापछि घर फर्कन पाको, त्यसमाथि भूकम्प ले क्ष्यतबिक्ष्यत बनाएको गाउँघर कस्तो भा होला भन्ने खुल्दुली पनि, काठमाडौँ बाट प्रस्थान गरेदेखिनै आँखा थकाई मार्न तयार भएनन्, झ्यालबाहिर चहारी नै रहे! राजमार्गक दुवै तर्फ भ्याएसम्म आँखा डुलाउदै थिए, धुलिखेल सम्म खासै ढलेभत्किएका घर देखिएनन् सायद राजमार्ग ओरिपरी कम क्ष्यति भएको थियो, कोटेश्वोर भक्तपुर सडकखण्डमा भने ठाउँ ठाउँ मा चिरा थिए र मर्मतका लागि सडक डाईभर्सन गरिएको थियो! धुलिखेल काटेपछी भने आँखा नरसाई रहन सकेनन! पाँचखाल नपुग्दै सैयौ घर क्ष्यतबिक्ष्यत देखिए, हुन त भूकम्प को घाउ आलो थिएन, तर मलाई नौलो भयो! बाँस र जस्ताका टहरा यत्रतत्र देखिन्थे, आँखाले भ्याएजति नस्ट प्रायः थियो! यात्रा जति अघि बढ्थ्यो उति मन आतिन्थ्यो! सोचें, “ अहिले त बल्ल काभ्रे पुग्दै छौ, अझ अगाडी सिन्धुपल्चोक र दोलखा ( जुन दोस्रो भूकम्पक केन्द्रबिन्दु थिए) को के हाल होला! धेरै हदसम्म मान्छेहरुले भूकम्पको चोट भुलिसकेको अवस्था थियो, तर म मा भने ठिक उल्टो! भूकम्प गएको निक्कै पछि घर गएर होला सायद, ति घर हिजै मात्र भत्केका लाग्दै थिए! दोलालघाट नपुग्दै करिब ४/५ ठाउँ मा ससाना पहिरो गएको देखे, सायद भुकम्पकै कारण!

दोलालघाट खाडीचौर सडकखण्डमा पर्ने घरका पनि हालत सायदै फरक थिए, सुनकोशी किनार मा ठडिएका ति घरका जग खोलाबाटै उठेका हुन्थे! धेरै कम मात्र ठाडा देखिन्थे बाकी माटोमै मिलेका! प्रकृतिले अनुपम सुन्दरता दिएर पनि प्रकृति बाटै ठगिने जिल्ला हो सिन्धुपाल्चोक! सुनकोशीलाई नै २४ घण्टा भन्दा बढी समय रोक्ने गरि पहिरो (जसमा करिब १०० भन्दा बढीको ज्यान गएको थियो) गएको २ वर्ष पुग्दानपुग्दै फेरी अर्को बज्रपात भोगिरहेथ्यो सिन्धुपाल्चोक! खाडीचौरका घर ठाडा देखिए पानी बस्न लायक थिएनन् सायद त्यसैले मान्छेको उपस्थिति अति न्युन थियो! कोदारी राजमार्गलाई देब्रे छोडेर बस सुनकोशी तरी उकालो लाग्न थाल्यो! यात्रा जति अगाडी बढ्दै थियो भूकम्प को अझ  क्रुर रुप प्रस्तुत हुदै थियो! खाडीचौर देखि मुढेसम्मको २७ किलोमिटर यात्रा मा सग्लो घर औलामा गनिने मात्र थिए, ति पनि घाउ चोट नलागेका थिएनन्, कतै न कतै भूकम्पको क्रुरता प्रदर्शित थियो!

भदौ नै भएपनि मुडे पुगेसी चिसो सिरेटो को स्वागत चाखियो, बस पनि केहीबेर रोकेकाले चिया नपिई ओरालो झर्न मन मानेन! किन किन यहाँ आइपुगेसी घरै पुगेझै लाग्छ! १० मिनेटको आराम पछि बस ओरालो लाग्यो, सिन्धुपाल्चोक लाई पछाडी छोडेर बस दोलखा को माटोमा गुढ्दै थियो! दोस्रो भूकम्पका अति प्रभाभित क्षेत्र मध्य दोलखा एक हो, दोस्रो पटकको केन्द्रबिन्दु दोलखा सिन्धुपाल्चोक सिमाना मा परेकाले यी दुई जिल्लाले ठुलो क्ष्यति व्यहोर्नुपर्यो! चरिकोट नपुगुन्जेल अथाह पिडा भैरह्यो, सडकछेउका कैयौ अस्थाई कटेरा त्यसै हेरिरहन सकिन! करिब एकघण्टा को यात्रा पछि चरिकोट उत्रें! अघिल्लो पटक चरिकोट छोड्दा यहिबाट बस चढेको थिए, संगैको प्रतिक्ष्यालयमा उभिएर बस कुरेको याद आयो, ठाउँ त्यहि थियो तर प्रतिक्ष्यालय थिएन, फगत भग्नावशेष! खुट्टा त्यसै गरुङ्गो भएर आयो!

साथमा एउटा सानो झोला मात्र भएकाले एकपटक बजार चक्कर लगाएर मात्र घर तिर झर्ने विचार गरें!

सुरुमै चरिघ्यांग तिर उकालो लागें, सबै सदरमुकाममा सबै भन्दा क्ष्यति सायद त्यहि भएको थियो! उकालो लाग्दै गएँ! होटेल संगम, होटेल गौरी होरिजोन्, होटेल सैलुंग भिलेज खुबै चल्तीका होटेल हुन्  चरिकोटका, तर कुनैको अस्तित्व बाकी थिएन! यी होटेलमा केहिले ज्यान पनि गुमाएका थिए! अझै उकालो लाग्दै गएँ, खुट्टा धर्मराए, काम्न थाले, ति बाटो हिडीसक्नु थिएन! प्रत्येक घर आफै माथि बज्रेलान जस्तो, मान्छेको अति न्युन उपस्थिति थियो, भूकम्पका सानातिना धक्का अझै महसुस हुदै थिए, सायद त्यसैले होला! मुटु  दरो गराएँ, अघि बढें! जति अघि बढ्थें उति स्थिति भयावह देख्दै गएँ, कैयन घर एकआर्कासंग टासिएका थिए, लिसो टासिएझैँ, जुको टासीएझैँ!  बजारभन्दा उचाइमा रहेकाले थुप्रै रेडियो स्टेशन को हब थियो चरिघ्यांग! घर त थिए तर स्टेशन देखिन, केहि भने चौरमै ससानो जस्ताको कटेरो बाटै प्रसारण गरिरहेका देखिन्थे! यहि लाइन को पल्लो छेउमा गुम्बा थियो, अहिले देखिन! आराम गर्न बनाईएका साना दुइ चौतारा भने यथावत थिए, त्यहि बसें र नजिकैको पसलबाट चिया मगाएं! निकैबेर त्यहि टोलाईरहे!

मेरो घर सदरमुकाम बाट करिब २० मिनेटको पैदल दुरीमा पर्छ! चिया पिईसकेपछि घर तिर झर्ने मन भयो! खुशी र पिडा बराबर थियो! लामोसाँगु जिरी सडकखण्डबाट गोरेटो बाटो ओरालो झरें! सडक छोडेदेखी नै सुरु हुन्छ मेरो गाउँ चिसापानी देउराली, घाम अस्ताउन तरखर गर्दै थियो, म ओरालो लागें! बाटा तिनै थिए, गाउँ मेरो थिएन! कुनै भयावह सपना देखेजस्तो अनुभूति हुदै थियो, आफ्नो घर बाट टाढा कतै घुम्न आएजस्तो! कुनै कोणबाट पनि मलाई मेरो गाउँ जस्तो लागेन, तर कहाँ लुक्थ्यो र यथार्थ? म मेरै गाउँ फर्केको थिएँ! अह मेरो गाउँ यस्तो पटक्कै थिएन, ढुंगामाटाका घरमा कतै जस्ता त कतै ढुंगा कै छाना छाईएका थिए, तर कतै त्यस्तो देखिएन! घर माटोमा मिलेका देखें, प्रत्येक भत्किएका घर नजिकै सानो टहरो थियो, गाईबस्तु तथा बाख्रापाठा बाध्ने गोठ पनि माटोमै मिलेका देखें! कठै.. कता बाध्या होलान ति बस्तु, परिवारै नअट्ने ति कटेरोमा के गरि अटेहोलन सबै! गोरेटोका दुबैपट्टी कुनै घर थिएनन्, देखिएका फाट्टफुट्ट घर पनि डरलाग्ने देखिन्थे! बाटै को पानीको धारो भने ढलेको रहेनछ, तर धेरै दिन देखि पानी नचुहेजस्तो भान भयो!

माथिबाटै तल आफ्नो घर रहेको ठाउँमा नजर गयो, आफ्ना दुवै घर आधा मात्र ठाडा थिए! अझ नजिक गएँ! पत्याउनै गाह्रो भयो आफु जन्मेको घर यहि हो भनेर, अझ नजिक गएँ! नापन्छाएको घर मा बर्खे घाँस उम्रेका रहेछन्! म बस्ने घरमा दुबो, कोदो, कुरो, मकै, आदि उम्रेका रहेछन्! सुनेको थिए नौ मुरी कोदो भुकम्पपश्चात उठाउन नसक्दा त्यहि पुरिएको थियो, अब पत्याउन करै लाग्यो! बाक्लो कोदोको बिऊ घरै माथि उम्रेको रहेछ! नजिकै गएर हेर्न मन भयो, भूकम्पले थिचेका खाट, दराज, टिभी, त्यहि थिए! अर्को घरै माथि चढेर एउटा पाठी घाँस चर्दै थियो, सोचें बाख्रापाठालाई त दशैँ नै आएछ, मान्छेलाई पो दशा आको! अर्को घर मा भने बिरालो थियो सायद मुसा खोज्दै थियो! बर्खे पानीले भिजेर काठ सबै मक्काएका र कुहिनै लागेका देखिन्थे, मूल ढोका उघारै रैछ, भित्र हेरें! पानीको दह थियो, भुइमा लेउ थियो, चकटी चुल्होमै थियो! पकाउने चुल्हो पनी दुरुस्तै रहेछ, बिचरा सधै बलेर रुखो भएको हुदो हो, अहिले आफुलाई चिस्याउदै छ, सायद फेरी पोलिनुपर्छ भनेर होला! कसैले भानिदेओ त्यसलाई अब उ जल्नुपर्दैन भनेर! खुसि हुदों हो सायद अब पोलिनुपर्दैन भनेर, मनुष्य हुदो हो त बुझ्दो हो उसको धर्म नै पोलिनु हो!

अस्थाई टहरो पुरानो घर भन्दा केहि मिटर तल थियो! घर ढुंगा माटाको मात्र कहाँ हुदो रहेछ र? जस्ता मात्रै बारेको भएपनि परै बाट राम्रो लाग्यो, आफ्नै लाग्यो! आमा मेरै बाटो हेर्दै थिइन्! देख्ने बितिकै भूकम्प गए पश्चात फोनमा भएको कुराकानी याद आयो, आँखा रसाए, ढाकछोप गरें! आमा त्यसै गदगद हुनुभो मलाई देखेर! पोलेको मकै र चिया खाएपछि अस्थाई घर अवलोकन गर्नथालें! चुल्होमै पानी जमेको देखेर सोधें! “ खै छोरा जति टाले पनि खै कता कता बाट छिरिहाल्छ!” आमाले भन्नुभयो! खुलाचौरमा टहरो हालेकाले भित्र भुइँ बरोबर थिएन! लितपोत गरेर टालटुल गरेपनि कतै ढुंगा निस्केका त कतै घाँस उम्रेका थिए! सुत्ने कोठा हेरें, हेर्दा राम्रै देखिन्थ्यो, तर भुइँमा किरा फट्यांग्रा देखिन्थे, खाटमुनी दुबोको जंगल नै रहेछ! साँझको खानपिन पछि सुत्ने तरखर गरें, थाकेकाले छिट्टै खाटमा ढल्न मन लाग्यो! सुताई पनि अनौठो भयो, निधाउन मात्र के आटेको थिएँ, पाखुरामा केहि हिडेजस्तो लाग्यो! अर्को हातले च्याप्प समाएँ, बत्ती थिएन, मोबाइल बालेर हेरें, कन्सुत्लो रहेछ! किचेर मारिदिएं, पुनः पल्टें! सानैदेखि कन्सुत्लो कानमा पस्यो भने मरिन्छ भन्ने सुनेको, निद्रा पटक्कै लागेन! ढिलोचाढो निदाएछु!

A wake up Call

Despite witnessing everything possible, I loved him, I wanted him.

I used to dream about him every single night. There probably wasn’t a second his thought didn’t cross my mind. Whenever I saw any other girl beside him, I was filled with murderous rage. And when I am beside him, I would fly high up in the sky higher than any creatures have ever flown. I had fallen for him hopelessly and desperately.

Kapil used to visit my house very often but not to see me. He had an affair with my elder sister. He used to come to my place every few weeks to see my sister, and I never missed a chance to get nearby him. I would manage millions of excuses to get near him, to talk to him. Kapil and my sister Nisha used to spend hours in our home, in my sister’s room. They looked good and very happy together. And I was more than contented to see my sister pleased. But deep inside, a portion of my heart was jealous and wanted to replace my sister from that pairing.

Kapil used visited our home while our parents were out at work. As me and my sister had our classes in the morning, we would be at home all day long. It’s not that he only visited us when our parents were out as he was well known to our parents.  Kapil was our neighbor since the early childhood. We three were bonded like a concrete bonding and used to spend our days together since childhood. We completed our schooling from the same school; I was immediate junior to Kapil and Nisha.

One fine day on chilly month of December while I was back from college, I found my sister and him locked inside her room. My parents were out at work. I went directly to my room without letting them know. While together they used to make fun of each other, giggle, shout and even fight. I was envious of her. After some ten or twenty minutes, I could hear them giggling. I had no idea what was going on there and was unable to decide what to do and what not to. I was frightened, grieved and jealous, all at once. They didn’t know I was back home, so I thought it would be better if I go out of there and come back home some time later. And I did the same.  Their moaning was still buzzing as I got out of my room and ran my step downstairs.

Hundreds and thousands of thoughts crossed my mind as I entered a coffee shop some ten minutes walk from my dwelling. I grew insane with the thoughts that hit me. I ordered a cup of milk coffee and lay there not knowing what to do next. Nisha was running on the last year of her nursing studies while Kapil had just started a management course in one of the renowned college in Kathmandu. It was almost two years they were in relationship. In those early days I and even my parents had spotted them walking together in streets. Once even our parents witnessed them sharing an ice-cream in the busy Kathmandu streets. That evening Nisha had to answer several questions thrown at her by her parents. She had replied “we are just friends” then. As the time passed by both our parents and they themselves knew that it was lot more than just friendship.

“Here’s your coffee, Mam.” said waiter as he placed a cup of coffee right in front of her.

“Thank you” She smiled back. Only she knew that she had faked a smile.

All of a sudden I started feeling resentful towards my own sister. I wanted to be in that room locked from inside and spend all my day with him. I loved him so much that I started hating him. It is not that he was dire to me. I have spent many times with him and I have always found him good and attractive. I had this feeling for him since very long back, maybe earlier than Nisha had. But I never ever had guts to say that I love him.

It was late December I was busy in the computer preparing my assignments. My sister was in her college and was late to return back home. My parents as well were at work. Right then he arrived.

“Hey Asha”, I heard him greet me as he slide the door.

“Hello”, I sound excited.

He had already noticed my sister room locked from outside. He entered my room and sat beside me on the plastic chair. I was happy that no one was in the room but was somehow anxious.

“Do you like to have something”, I asked keeping my eyes alert on the desktop itself.

“A glass of water, please.” He said.

As I came back with the glass of water I pushed the door hard but didn’t lock it. He had shifted his chair to the one in front of the computer and was going through the photos. The folder containing my photos was in the desktop itself. I handed him the glass of water which he kept by the computer table.

“You look beautiful.” He said glancing towards the picture while he sipped the water.

“I know I am.” I replied smiling.

As he went through the pictures, he made some comment to almost each of them. I was a bit nervous having him right beside me with no one in the house, but excitement killed them off. I was feeling good as it was what I always wished for.

“You look sexy here.” He said nipping my cheek as he came across one of my picture in undersized outer. I blushed as minor electric shock went through my body. I just managed to smile. I was worried of my sister thinking what she would think of if she saw us in my room together. I then thought that I should make him go, but I had no guts to tell him to leave. I actually never wanted him to leave. And he didn’t seem like leaving anytime soon.

I told him I had to finish my assignments soon and asked him if I could sit in front of the computer. He readily left his seat and seated in my bed. As I was busy with my assignments I found him glance over my personal diary. I did not know since when he was going through the texts there. I quickly got off my seat and rushed to get my diary back.

“Please don’t read this, this is very personal.” I said as I pulled my diary back.

All these happened in quick succession. I did not want him to read it as it contained everything. It included everything that happened to me along with all my dreams, weird and crazy thoughts. I used to ink all my happiness, sorrows, mistakes, feelings, confessions, anger, fear, and anxiety, absolutely everything. I never lied or cheated to that diary. And I always kept it safe and out of reach from everyone. But I happened to keep it seen that day.

“What have you written there?” He said smiling.

I knew he caught me there. I was like a fish inside the net struggling to come off. Because, it had his name inked in it. There probably were not any pages where his name wasn’t mentioned. I had mentioned how much I love him and wanted to be with him. I had no idea what to reply. His face suggested that he had already gone through some of the pages and got to know what I felt about him. I found myself sweating and reddened. I just managed to reply “nothing, it’s personal.”

He came closer to me and tried to get it back, but I refused to give. He was smiling as he tried to withdraw it from my hand forcefully. I was holding it tight but he managed to get some hand on it and tried getting it. Diary was in no man’s land now, both trying to get it but didn’t actually have it. Room was getting noisier as all these didn’t take place in tranquility. Right then I heard someone knocking at the door. Before I could move towards the door, the door opened pushed from outside. It was Nisha. She observed both of us carefully and returned right away shutting the door hard without speaking a word.

Kapil followed her, I remained seated in bed. I heard him pledging and assuring her that we were just chatting. I was completely unaware of what was going on in the other room, I just heard Kapil speaking. I knew she was fumed, I didn’t hear her speak to hundreds of his vow. I heard him begging sorry but she wouldn’t listen. It was some 15 minutes Kapil was muttering but didn’t get a single word back. It was almost 5 in the evening and was time for my parents to be back at home. Kapil left disappointed without giving a single glance at me, and how would he?

I lingered at my bed stationary. I was troubled. It felt like a big catastrophe, a big tragedy, a big heartbreak. I was all dumb and filth. I felt like I’ve committed a big crime, a crime that none of the castigation would compensate. I had no nerve to go in front of her and talk to her. I’d done nothing erroneous but how could I assure her of that was beyond my competence.

I did go to my sister room after a while. I found her eyes moistened.

“Nisha, listen to me. It’s nothing like what you’re thinking…”

“You please, leave me alone.” She replied before I could finish speaking. She said it peacefully but her eyes were all livid.

“How could you…” She added but started sobbing before finishing her words.

But I needed no words to understand her eyes. I knew what she wanted to articulate. I wanted to tell her what she thought of us then was all wrong, but she still would not be convinced. I was in trouble, big troubled. Thought I would talk to her the next day when she was cool and calm.

I came back to my room and lay in my bed until my eyes drench closed.

From next day on, I couldn’t maintain vigorous relationship with my sister. She talked well with me but still something was missing, my old Nisha was missing. On the contrary, meeting with Kapil grew thicker. I didn’t even realize it until we started meeting almost every day. Even Nisha was well aware of it but didn’t really care about it. Kapil still used to visit our home frequently but his destiny has changed. He still used to talk with Nisha but they were no more what they once were. I enjoyed his company as he was all I ever dreamt of but was sad that Nisha was hurt because of me.

Days, weeks and months passed as we grew closer to each other. We spent numerous good moments together. Nisha was well aware of our relationship and I felt like she had moved on with what happened to her.

One mid-October day was alone in my home as I had my classes off. I had just taken shower and was drying my hair my phone ranged. It was Kapil. I received the call.

“I am outside, unlock the gate.” He said before I could respond.

I went downstairs and unlocked the main gate. We came back to the room me following his footsteps. He sat at the edge of my bed and I sat beside him.

“Sunsilk? Hmm… No. Head and shoulders?” He asked as his nose approached my neck to smell my hair.

“Ponds.” I said pushing him farther. My hair was still wet.

“You smell intoxicating.” He said kissing my lower neck.

And soon our lips met. I don’t remember who initiated but it happened, and did last long. My lips mould to his as our lubricious tongue collides lovingly caressing each other deliberately to explore the unexplored. I felt the sweetness of his tongue. It did not seem like it would end soon. When I wanted to stop he started again and when he tried to stop it was me who started all over again. He laid me on the bed while our lips were still bonded.

“The door is unlocked.” I said.

He smiled back and went towards the door instantly, pushed it hard and locked from inside. And it started again. We’re lying in bed as his hand slide underneath my clothing. We both undressed each other and his hand ran all over my body. And there, we made love, without any protection.

Things were going well for next few months. We have had secluded sex a couple of times after our first. After my finals of the twelfth grade, we’d barely meet because of our demanding schedules. But we were in touch through different mediums. Slowly, things changed. Our meetings and even communications through other media became even slimmer. Consequently, he stopped responding to my calls and texts.

I was worried. Different thoughts engaged my mind and I started having sleepless nights. It was weeks since he last received my calls or responded to my texts. His family recently shifted from our locality where they lived for more than a decade, which fueled my speculation.

One usual day after dinner I called him several times, he didn’t answer any. I lied in my bed and dialed him till my fingers hurt, absolutely no response. I was worried, angry and gone insane all at once. Doesn’t he care about me anymore? Was it ‘sex’ that he ever all wanted? Is he done with me? Hundreds such questions were revolving around me like dark cloud in the monsoon sky.

Did he ever love me? Why doesn’t he respond to my calls then? He mustn’t be that busy to not receive my calls for weeks. Even if he is high should have informed me through other means. Was he enough trustworthy that I bestowed everything upon him? No, he can’t be. And suddenly everything that happened with Nisha jazzed right in front of my eyes. How dim-witted I was that despite knowing all the past I went on sleeping with him. Is it all what he does, keep on sleeping with different girls? I can I trust him that he’d not any partner prior to Nisha? Has he dumped me? Or if not, what if he dumped me anytime soon? I will be done with my blood, life and relationship. I should have never let him cross the threshold and enter my life. It was my entire fault. I had hurt my dearest sister for him. I was never right, never ever.

This could be the high time for me to forget everything and start a new life, a life where I can be my boss. But can I do that? Can I ever forget what has happened to me this soon? How will I ever hide the fact that I am no more a virgin? But will this even matter if I am strong, bold and courageous? I won’t let and should not let any of my past haunt me anymore. I must be brave enough to face what is in store for me in the future.

I still couldn’t get my eyes closed. I got up off my bed and drank a glass of water.

I went back to bed and lay down again. I must move on.

The Recurring Fate

The ring of my cell phone disturbs my sleep early morning.

I have an alarm of early 5 in the morning everyday but never wake up that early. I postponed it for next 15 minutes and got back to my sleep as I did every preceding day. I was used to this job and I could do it even without opening my eyes.

My phone rang again violating my order. I postponed it again and held my pillow tight. Let alone my setting, phone rang again. I concluded there was some problem with it, and had to open my eyes. Unfortunately, it was a call. Rajiv had called.
“Yes”, I answered the call.
“Deepak, our result is published. Did you know?” he said in hurry.
I was still sleeping to a degree. I clearly heard what he said. But, I could not response him in quick.
Not getting my response he added,” Deepak, you there?”
“Yeah, I got you.” I answered.
“Can we meet in college at 7 this morning?” He said in tone of compulsion.
“Ok, I’ll be there at 7. See ya there.” I said.
As soon as the talk ended, I felt my heart pounded. I should have been glad to know I was getting the result of my performance over a year. ‘Over a year’ in a sense that university could never end the session as per the planned calendar year. One had to wait about 15 months to appear for the final exams. This had been the culture of university. I had cleared all the papers except one from 1st year which kept me from getting my bachelors degree since past more than two years.
My eyes wide opened. I saw my brother lying next to me still in his deep sleep. He had joined me the previous year after getting his school leaving certificate. I actually didn’t want to get him in this deserted city until I was well settled. But he wanted to study Science in his higher studies and the colleges in the village couldn’t furnish the requirements. Moreover, my parents compelled me to get him with me.
I got off the bed, prepared tea and sipped it instantly. Soon I left for the college. I had to walk for about 10 minutes to reach the bus station. I felt it longer than an hour walk. My foot ached. My heart was heavier than any rock would ever weight. I got into the bus. My mind hosted thousand of thoughts at that moment. It was third consecutive time I had appeared my exam for the same paper. I wasn’t that bad in my studies and did my best in exams. But result never came in my favor, it always jerked me. I couldn’t figure out whether it’s the negligence of the university or my failure. I had successfully completed my 2nd and 3rd year paper with good marks. So there doesn’t raise questions of my incapability. A single paper from 1st year was fixed in me like a leech.
I got off the bus in Singhadarbar. I still had to walk for 5 minutes or so to reach my college. I headed to my college in frozen steps. My heart was getting even heavier as I approached my college.

My mind repeated same question to my heart again and again, ’What if I am failed again?’ I felt pity on myself. I was all wasting my parents’ efforts and sweat. Being the elder son I had to bear responsibility in my family sooner or later. After all, I had to look after my family. I would have sustained in this city on my own if I had degree.  A financial institution had almost provided me a job last year, but the one that played villain was my certificate itself. Only certificate would speak and provide some job in this drained city. I was ashamed to ask for the expenses to my parents. They too had no any source of income. Their all day effort in the field would hardly earn their living. And if they did save a little, they would send us without my request.
I thought of my sister who recently completed her higher studies and joined Bachelors in village itself. My parents had planned to get her married the previous year if any good-looking gentleman had come to ask her hand. But it was I myself fought with parents and didn’t let them do as per their plan. She had lot expectation from me. After then my brother strike my thoughts. He has his own dreams to achieve. He would perform better if he was admitted in renowned college. But, he is understanding and is happy with what we could afford. I should be responsible for his further studies.
And how would I forget my all time well wisher, kriti. I loved her actually and wanted to spend my old days with her. I don’t really know whether its fear of losing her or my respect towards her that’s keeping me away from sharing these feelings with her. But I couldn’t ask her hand unless I was self dependent. She was always good to me and she is. And the necessitate thing that’s not with me is capital. So, I had to earn first.
The beep-beep from back reminded me that I was out of my lane. I was lost in thought.
I entered the college gate. The crowd has gathered there in advance. Everyone was dying to find their Roll no in the list. I found no familiar face in the crowd. It wasn’t easy to get closer to the notice board. Hundreds of them were gathered there pushing each other trying to get their number in the list. I stood in a corner of the parking lot.
I saw Rajiv evading from crowd pushing other. He got his phone out of pouch. He took it closer to his ear; most probably he was dialing me. I shouted at him waiving my hands. He recognized me from distant and came closer with miserable face.
“Hey, how was your result?” I asked.
“I am passed, but I didn’t found your number.” He couldn’t say this comfortably.
Those words hammered me more than anything could ever hit. The earth stopped rotating, wrist watch held still and bright sun disappeared. My parents, brother, sister and Kriti all strike my mind again.
The University had once again proved me futile. I wonder when my sun will ascend with rays of hope.

A Minor’s Fortune

Aavash doesn’t like to play these days. He spent his days keeping himself locked inside the room. He used to be a good boy, admired and praised by everybody. It’s not that he’s gone badly, but he’s not the boy he used to be. Unlike his character, he remains silent these days.

He used to come first in the school finals, but finals of class three gave him fifth rank in the class. He doesn’t even feel like going to school.

His mother Kamala is well aware of the reasons behind the poor performance but is helpless. One Monday morning, his mother prepared breakfast just before schools. Like every preceding days he was not interested in eating. She promised to buy him an ice-cream and receive him afterschool before to make him eat the food. Once in school he forgets everything and comes back to home on his own. His school was few minutes’ walk from his home.

Bikram was his classmate and neighbor. They used to go to school together and even spend their free time together. Bikram used to wait for him every morning, and they used to go to the school together.

Today, Bikram was late and Aavash had to wait for him to arrive. But Aavash didn’t want company these days. He wanted to walk alone. But he couldn’t flee away from Bikram all of a sudden.

“Hi Aavash.” He arrived.

“Hello” Aavash replied almost unwillingly.

“So how’s your new mother?” Bikram asked him disrespectfully.

Aavash remained astonished and motionless. His face turned blend of red and black. He didn’t feel ashamed but was filled with extreme rage. He was totally unaware of what to do next. Everybody in the locality knew and talked about his dad’s extramarital affair. It had gone so viral that his classmates started teasing him.

“I’ve only one mother. Don’t talk this nonsense with me again.” Aavash replied without even looking at his face.

“My mother said your dad will bring you a new mother very soon.” Bikram added.

Aavash remained absolutely silent. His eyes moistened and reddened. He stretched his footsteps so that he needn’t listen to Bikram. But Bikram followed him to maintain the balance.

“Why don’t you speak up? Everybody talks about your dad these days.” Bikram wasn’t in the mood to stop.

Aaavash spoke nothing. He could hear Bikram speaking all the way to school but he didn’t pay any attention till they reach the school. Aavash felt low all the day. He didn’t speak much with anyone, not even with teachers. He didn’t have his lunch

Prakriti was his very close friend in the class. They used to spend hours together talking and playing. Inside the school compound, they were always found together. If anyone among them missed the class any day, the other used to call to their home that very evening. Prakriti asked him that day if anything was wrong but Aavash was ever silent.

After the class was over that day, everybody left for their home. Aavash and Prakriti were quite behind than the rest of the class.

“What’s wrong with you Aavash? Why are you so different these days?” She asked in sweet little voice.

There’s no words how she said this. In very sad tone, almost unwillingly, in shade bitter but honestly. Aavash felt like crying out all his tears on her shoulder. He felt like hugging her to thank her. She had been so good to him all the time. But he remained still, no single word came out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you speak?” she asked again.

He had no idea what to answer. He couldn’t speak the truth, and never wanted to tell her a lie.

“I’m not well.” He lied.

“You should have taken rest. Why did you come to school then?” she was raining questions.

“I was okay in the morning.” He tried to sound natural.

Children were hurrying to get into their parents arms. Just outside the school gate was the pool of parents waiting for their child to arrive. Few children were playing in playground while few others were eating the leftover of the lunch.

“Aavash, quick. I’ve been waiting for last ten minutes.” Shouted Bikram from the gate.

“I’m coming.” He shouted back and started running after waving good bye to Prakriti.

He ran towards the gate which took him a little longer because of the crowd at the exit. He turned back; Prakriti was still waving her hand. He waved his hand back to her. Aavash and Bikram walked all the way back home. They used to play for about an hour every day after snacks. Though Aavash didn’t want to, he had to. He couldn’t say ‘no’ to Bikram.

His mum fed him snacks. As always she asked him to complete school assignments before going out to play. His mom was speaking in the phone while he was eating. He could hear his mother sobbing over phone. This had been her routine task for past couple of years. He knew conversation was centered on his father. Not only within the family but this had been the hot topic for everyone in the neighborhood.

It’s not that his father didn’t love his son. He would do everything for the children. He had problem with his wife, he couldn’t tolerate her for a second. He was having an affair with one of his colleague in the office he worked. The relationship between them was degrading since past three years and had reached extreme recently. They got married some ten years back arranged by their families and relationship was going good for the first half of the decade. His workstation was not in the native town and could only visit them once in few months. There was a speculation that not being together was the reason behind the degrading relationship.

“Aavash, come downstairs.” His friends started shouting from outside the gate. He escaped while his mother was still busy in the phone. Bikram along with Deepak, Shanker, Kamal, Bikash and some new faces were waiting for him with a black and white football.

“When is your dad coming?” asked Deepak while they were walking towards the playground.

Almost everybody in the neighborhood knew that his father had not visited home for few months.

“Is he coming with your new mom?” said Kamal. Everyone started laughing.

Aavash felt embarrassed and spoke nothing. He stopped there, turned back and started running back home. He raced so fast that he didn’t give a single look back. He reached home, climbed up the stairs to his room and got inside the bed quietly. He could still hear his mother sobbing over the phone line.

It was Dilasha, his younger sister who used to wake him up early morning every day. She generally woke up with her mum every morning. Like every day Dilasha pulled the blanket off his body with all her energy. She went closer to his face and shouted over his ears.

Aavash left for school after breakfast.

He saw Bikram from distance and braced himself for some humiliating questions.

“So, is your father home? How is your new mom?” As expected, Bikram started firing questions.

It hurt him like series of slaps across his face. He remained still.

“Did she bring you chocolates?” Bikram asked again and laughed hard.

Aavash couldn’t walk to school any further. He ran back to his mother. He reached home faster than anything. As he reached home, he ran direct to his mother and hugged her tight on her knees. He wanted to hug his mother tight on her chest but his height would only let him hold her knees. He started crying out loud. After all he was in his mother arms.

Kamala carried him up in her arms and rained kisses over his face and asked him if anything was wrong.

“I don’t want to go to school.” He said still sobbing.

“Why dear? What’s the matter?” His mother asked as she wiped tears off his face.

“All of my friends tease me. They say that my father doesn’t love me. He’ll bring new mother. Is it true mama?” He was still sobbing while he asked.

Kamala was shut. She knew that her husband loved their children very much. She knew he had only problem with her. And this feeling was killing her. She was sure she would never be able to win love of her husband. So all she was concerned was about the children. She wanted them to do their schooling well and have good relationship with their father. Because all the expenses about their food, education and other stuffs was covered by her husband. She could by no means afford the expenses otherwise.

“I’m your mother and I love you. What else matters?” She replied as she held him tight.

She was having hard times to convince him to get back to school. She tried to take him to school by herself but he was not ready. He slept half a day and spent rest by watching his favorite cartoon show, while his mother was busy in household stuffs.

While Kamala was preparing dinner in the evening, the phone ranged. She went to the other room and received the call.

“Hello aunt, how is Aavash” the voice asked. It was Prakriti, the voice was very familiar as she used to call him almost every alternate days.

“He’s alright watching TV, wait I’ll call him” She replied and called her son keeping the call on hold.

Aavash ran towards his mum hearing the call. He started talking over the phone as his mum headed towards the kitchen. She asked him the reason behind his absence in the school, he had to speak lie again. They talked for about five minutes.

His mother was busy on the other call in her mobile by the time he finished his conversation, he could hear her sobbing again from his room. He went close to her mum and sat beside her. Kamala ran her hands over his head and rubbed his hair. He reacted by lying in her lap. The conversation went long, and he could hear her sobbing few times in between. By the time she finished her conversation Aavash was already asleep. She woke him up and took her to the kitchen to make him have his dinner. He showed no interest in dinner, ate a very little and slept soon afterwards.

Days and months passed by. There was no improvement in the situation, rather things got worse. It was mid-November when the news broke that his father did got married to the lady he had affair with. This was the topic everyone in the town were talking about. And this time it was more than just rumors, there were people in the town who witnessed.  Though it was not the unexpected news, it did broke Aavash’s mum into pieces. There was even rumors that two of them would soon fly abroad.

Kamala was well prepared for this news, she knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. She was strong enough to deal with anything that came her away. All she was worried about was the future of her little kids. She even knew that her husband would take care of the expenses for his children. But it was not all about money, it was about father every child requires. It was about the love, care, guidance and belongingness. Both Aavash and Dilasha loved their father very much and wait for his arrival every time. Even he loved his children to the limits. When he visited home, he would be around the children every time taking them out and getting them the stuffs they wanted. The relationship between father and children was still the same. He just couldn’t bear his wife.

It took no time to spread all around. She was the topic of discussion for days after the news broke. She tried to keep Aavash unaware of this news but it was inevitable. He came to know about this within few days.

It was Aavash’s fate, his destiny that he had to deal with all the nonsenses at this early age. His young and innocent mind would not understand everything that was going on. But he could apprehend that his father was married with someone else and his mother was isolated. In subsequent days they had frequent visitors in the home. Relatives, neighbors, family friends and several other people visited Kamala and tried sympathize her. Her gloominess had grown overnight so she tried to avoid visitors, but she couldn’t help it.

It was almost a week that Aavash had not been to school and Prakriti had called him very often this past week. Even she was aware of the events that Aavash was going through. Meanwhile, Kamala was frustrated each proceeding day. She was trying to forget everything that happened but the people who came to visit her would keep on remind her. She was so tired of sympathies that she used to fake a smile to them. But she couldn’t hide the reality, she was broken into pieces.

One fine Saturday night Kamala was busy preparing her dinner. Being a holiday, a lot of relatives and neighbors visited her that day and she was tired of dealing with them. She was mentally disturbed till the evening and was not even feeling to prepare the dinner. But she couldn’t let her children sleep without feeding them. She got frequent calls while preparing the dinner and received each of them and had difficult time talking casually. She took more than usual time to prepare the dinner and she was literally weeping during the conversation but trying not to get noticed by her children. Aavash did notice that she was weeping but didn’t react. Kamala, Aavash and Dilasha had dinner together but none had it properly except Dilasha. Dilasha kept on exchanging glances between her mum and brother but in absolute silence.

Dilasha and Aavash were playing with their toys while Kamala cleaned the dishes. Kamala finished her work pretty soon and joined her children and watched them play. There was mere silence. Soon afterwards they stopped playing. Kamala took them off the bed where they were playing and arranged the bed for sleeping. Dilasha used to sleep along with her mother while Aavash slept alone. But today he didn’t feel like sleeping alone. He told his mother that he wanted to sleep together. Kamala made them sleep in her either sides and laid down in the middle. She was still unable to stop her weeping completely.

“Mom, why are you crying?” asked Dilasha in small tone.

‘No, I’m not” she lied. Before she could drop her words she made weeping sound again.

Aavash hugged his mom tight as tears that fell of her eyes rolled down on his cheeks. He did not speak a word, just remained there hugging her very tight in absolute silence.

‘’Will dad ever come to visit us again?” asked Aavash with his eyes full wet.

“Yes he will, He loves both of you very much.” She said kissing his forehead but she was not sure of what she spoke.

“Mom”, he whispered.

“Mm”, she replied.

“Will you also leave us alone like our dad?” Aavash asked his mother unwillingly.

Kamala couldn’t believe what she heard. She realized what her son was going through. It made her cry out loud. She hugged her son very tight but could answer nothing. She had no words to speak out. She rained kisses on his face and hold him tight. There was utter silence. Even Aavash did not feel like reinforcing.

Entrepreneurship and Economic Development in Nepalese Context

Better done than said they say, but it is reverse in Nepalese context. Be it the leaders of Political parties or the one heading the nation and his team, we have been promised to the limits but never delivered. Incapability or the lack of willingness whatever may the reason be, its crystal clear that we have been fooled around for some decades now. We have come through several revolutionary changes surpassing those we thought were hindrance to the growth of the nation, and experienced the governance of every political ideologies prevalent but could never make the breakthrough. And when we thought we were about to make it despite the political instability and frequent changes in government, we had to suffer two huge setbacks in recent decades. The first one being the civil war labelled People’s war by Maoists in 90s for ten long years. The historic people’s movement did end the deep rooted monarchy and political parties agreed to draft the constitution through elective Constitution assembly, but deadlock seems to be never ending. The other setback being recent devastating earthquake have added to the woes  taking lives of around 9000 people, making tens of thousands homeless and loss of major urban infrastructures.

One doesn’t need to go long back flipping the history books to notice where we stood few decades back. In fact lots of developed nations in and around South Asia and South East Asia now were far behind us in many aspects then. The turnaround they have managed in past few decades is really exemplary to nation like us still aspiring to take a leap towards economic development. Nepalese economy in the past decade is growing much slower with highest growth rate being around 6% per annum and averaging below 5% in past decade. The Current GDP is around $20 billion and is more or less stagnant as increment is very steady. So what are we lacking? Is it the governance that do not come up with the concrete plan to get the things done? Is it the implementation part? Are we erroneous in the fundamentals itself?

The ever rising unemployment rate is the result of fractional economic activities undergone in the country. Be it for the education or as a labor force, huge portion of active population flee elsewhere. Why are we not able to convince our people to find their destiny in their home? Are we creating the nation where no further generation would love to be a part of? They are bound to leave to earn their living. And those who leave for the further studies will hardly come back, not necessarily they do not want to but because they are unable to figure their future out here.

In this current scenario, until and unless the people are convinced that they can actually do something in their home to earn their living and do something for the betterment of the children, the trend will continue. And as I already stated, we have been promised to the limits and never delivered, none is ready to have faith in the idea that things will change. We are struggling to attract the foreign investor, the very few which were here they are leaving us finding it difficult to do business in Nepal, the recent example being KFC. The longer we take to figure out the problem in us and work on solving it, worsening the situation will be. Every country have their own culture, practices and unique ways of getting the things done, just that we have our own. Foreign investor investing in Nepal is just the bonus, can’t we do something on our own to drive our economy that we have to rely on foreign grants and loans every year?

The growing economy is the reflection of plenty of economic activities in the country. More the entrepreneurial activity within the boundaries, more will be the economic activities thus leading to prosperous economy. Entrepreneurs are national assets to be cultivated and motivated not just because they come up with the new enterprise but can change the way we live and work. If successful, they’ll not just create wealth out of their business but also create jobs and the conditions for a prosperous society helping maintain the living standard.  In the situation like ours where economic activity is very low entrepreneurship is key to foster the activities which not just help create demand but also creates employment opportunities which can produce a cascading effect or virtuous circle in the economy. The stimulation of related businesses or sectors that support the new venture add to further economic development. For example, when a new resort or a Hotel with very good facilities is ventured the travel agencies and transportation service provider will come up with new, better and improved ideas and facilities, and even new players can enter into the market as a result of establishment of new resort. Similarly, future development efforts in underdeveloped countries will require robust logistics support, capital investment from buildings to paper clips and a qualified workforce.

The ultimate goal of every new venture is to make money. Existing businesses may remain confined to the scope of existing markets and very few players try new things. Not necessarily every nascent entrepreneurs try new and improved offerings, products or technologies. But even if very few of them try to be innovative, they will be able to capture the new segment of the markets and thus new wealth will be created. Additionally, the cascading effect of increased employment and higher earnings contribute to better national income in form of higher tax revenue and higher government spending. This revenue can be used by the government to invest in other, struggling sectors and human capital.

Entrepreneurship could change the game of living through small tasks. Not necessarily entrepreneurship should make wealth. It could just be a catalyst for wealth generation of the people and nation. Living in Nepal, where we arguably have to give it all to get the basics of living a small act of entrepreneurship in society could actually change the living of community and in turn help the nation. For example, most of the rural areas in the Nepal have abundance of drinking water but they have problem in availability. I.e. fetching. We are blessed with the clean, hygienic and natural drinking water but people are bound to spent hours fetching them. What if someone could come up with the idea and vision to make it readily available for the people just in and around their residence? It could not only help make their life easier but also they could use their saved time in the productive sector and help the national economy itself. A village with 50 households could save 50 man hours a day at least and could invest those time elsewhere.

Some famous entrepreneurs around the world have been actively helping in community based works. Bill Gates for example gives certain portion of his earning to finance education and public health sector. This helps for the betterment of the community, society and nation itself. Overall prosperity of the nation is not possible just through one prosperous sector.

But again regulation plays a major role as everything should be nurtured and taken well care of. Unregulated entrepreneurship may lead to unwanted social outcomes including unfair market practices, pervasive corruption, financial crisis and even criminal activity. Paradoxically, a significantly high number of entrepreneurs may lead to fierce competition and loss of career choices for individuals. With too many entrepreneurs, levels of aspirations usually rise. A strong governing and regulating body for all these would be odor in gold but that’s what we have been lacking since years.

Entrepreneurship and economic development has important inputs and inferences for policy makers, development institutes, business owners and B Schools. If we understand the benefits and drawbacks, a balanced approach to nurturing entrepreneurship will definitely result in a positive impact on economy and society. One of the many ways to take Nepalese economy leaping forward would be fostering the entrepreneurial activities in the country. Guiding, mentoring and motivating entrepreneurs and supporting them in every possible aspect would help the aspiring business owners live the life of their dream enabling many jobless youths in their ventures and creating wealth for them as well as nation. This is not a onetime activity as it just sets the platform and culture for more other to follow the same path. And most importantly it could just end the national parasitism and dependencies on foreign grants and debts.